Gestalt, reading, vax, circus... what else would you like to know?
Sep. 22nd, 2025 10:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I had coffee with
mindways and he noted that DW posts don't always capture the gestalt of my life, which is true -- so let's start with an overview: ( die Gestalt. )
Rightly or wrongly, I realize that I've never tied the quality of my own life very tightly to the (much) larger things going on around me. Where does this attitude come from? I've just always noticed the heterogeneity of things, and noticed that stuff affecting 90% of people leaves 10% of them alone. I remember being really struck, in my 40s, by how many people will respond to "how's work going" with a reply at the company level, about how their company is doing; and that's rational, reasonable. But I never once have answered at that level. It's more nuanced when talking about governments, but: here I am in a good town, in a good state, under a shitty federal government. It's bad, but a good life still seems possible, and open to me specifically (although yes I care about others, and I do get sad over the big stuff).
And events of the week included:
I could keep writing for some time. I had another interesting talk with the bug about whether house projects viscerally feel productive or not. And I could babble about my video game, which continues to have both frustrating moments and "ooh" moments and which I don't have to feel guilty about playing. I've started to go through my fancy boots, wearing each pair to decide whether to keep or sell them, and I think I'll put a few other things up for sale too. I have thoughts, continuing thoughts, about AI and climate change and pronatalism (as it rises on the left as well as on the right, how everlastingly glad I am to be sterilized!). And I am worried about the joints and antidepressant levels of several people around me. If any of those sound interesting, comment; I could go into it. But for now, I will put nuts out for the squirrels -- I never see them anymore, but would like to remind them before winter that this is a useful place to know about -- and get a few chores done.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Rightly or wrongly, I realize that I've never tied the quality of my own life very tightly to the (much) larger things going on around me. Where does this attitude come from? I've just always noticed the heterogeneity of things, and noticed that stuff affecting 90% of people leaves 10% of them alone. I remember being really struck, in my 40s, by how many people will respond to "how's work going" with a reply at the company level, about how their company is doing; and that's rational, reasonable. But I never once have answered at that level. It's more nuanced when talking about governments, but: here I am in a good town, in a good state, under a shitty federal government. It's bad, but a good life still seems possible, and open to me specifically (although yes I care about others, and I do get sad over the big stuff).
And events of the week included:
- Not one but two circus shows -- Level Up (a local show with every act inspired by a video game), and Passengers by 7 Fingers. I watch these things as an impassioned amateur, always looking for some small floor or acro move that I might replicate, and in this case I saw two. One was a drop-back with one hand, made flashier by holding the second hand behind the back. I think I could do that within one or two practice sessions, and I'm gonna try. The other, going from a backbend, was a little hop over the arms (which bend) into a chest-stand-style rollout. I would want a spot for this, but it sure looks easier than a full hop over straight arms. And also less requiring of flexibility than a fully controlled lower to chest-stand. I'd love to try with a spot.
- Reading a lot of Margaret Atwood, as the bug and I chug along through The Blind Assassin. It's definitely an exercise in attention management; I can get sucked into it, but it takes longer than with an easier and faster-paced book, so it rewards longer spans of reading. I do love Atwood's trenchant take on small things, and her sheer precision -- a young woman's lipstick isn't red, it's cerise. The wallpaper has a specific pattern with a name. The narrator as an old woman is far more observant and precise in this way than the same narrator as a younger woman, which delights me and makes me want to get old. I don't want all my reading to be like this, but it's a good reminder that there are different kinds of reading, too.
- Covid vaccination! I was afraid I would not be able to get one this year, national policies finally affecting my body in an obvious way. The interplay of CDC, ACIP, state-level and other recommendations are a giant mess but, on the ground, I was able to self-attest to CVS that I qualified for it, and they stuck it in my arm. The next day, yesterday, I got super tired and couldn't really invert, and fell asleep on the couch after doing what I could at open studio.
- A good handstand lesson, in which... this will horrify
justplainuniverse, I'm sure... I think I managed to jump and push shoulders open at the same time, on purpose, for maybe the first time ever. It felt really strange. But yes, for all these years I've been 1) jumping, 2) losing track of time, space and my identity while motion happens, 3) trying to figure out where I am, and 4) pushing my shoulders open if the situation seems to call for it. Because I couldn't "push earlier" during the lost phase (too lost), and I couldn't push simultaneously. I did it and dang, I hope I can keep doing it. All of this followed from a simple bit of feedback I got from a substitute coach the week before, which oddly sounded negative ("sorry, you just got unlucky in this one way") but was very, very actionable.
- A few crossword puzzle personal best times. Construction is paused, and solving benefits from impatience.
I could keep writing for some time. I had another interesting talk with the bug about whether house projects viscerally feel productive or not. And I could babble about my video game, which continues to have both frustrating moments and "ooh" moments and which I don't have to feel guilty about playing. I've started to go through my fancy boots, wearing each pair to decide whether to keep or sell them, and I think I'll put a few other things up for sale too. I have thoughts, continuing thoughts, about AI and climate change and pronatalism (as it rises on the left as well as on the right, how everlastingly glad I am to be sterilized!). And I am worried about the joints and antidepressant levels of several people around me. If any of those sound interesting, comment; I could go into it. But for now, I will put nuts out for the squirrels -- I never see them anymore, but would like to remind them before winter that this is a useful place to know about -- and get a few chores done.